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Writings of Becky

June Poetry Part 2

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beckyms1213
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June Poetry Part 2

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June Poetry
Becky M.S.
© 2007
I Try
 
I try to please him
I want to make him proud
But all in all
I’m just an ear for another
Uninspiring lecture
A disappointment
 
Find a job
So I find a job
But it wasn’t
The job he wanted me to have
 
Get a car
So I found a car
But the car didn’t work
The way he wanted
 
Get a man
So I got a man
Just like him
And then I left the man
 
As I accomplish
These stepping stones
I realize
I need to do
These things
For me
Not him
 
I got a good job
I got a car
And I will eventually
Get a good guy
A nice house
And awesome life
And the best part of it
It’s all mine . . .
All I can say is . . .
I tried.
 
Haunted
 
I wrote it
Feelings released
Almost done
Almost ended
So close to
The finish line
 
And yet
Like an short orgasm
Unfinished
I stop before
I climax
Before I was satisfied
I killed it
I was almost done
Over half completed
Closer to the end
Than the beginning
 
Then there was
A twist in conflict
A turn in the plot
A person in my life
Who made me turn around?
Screw up on an impulse
A false religious notion
A mental lapse
Made me
Lose all my work
To the trash can
I lost months
For a kid
Who wasn’t even a man
Yet . . .
 
The same person
Who makes fun
Of an orgasm
Even before he truly had one
Who wants a oxymoron for a life
But has no idea what life really is
He wants money
And a family . . . (ha, Ha)
 
He acted like he cared
But now I’m all alone
With no one
And no work
No story
And it haunts me
 
It haunts me . . .
The story replays
Over in my head
Over and over
I just do not
Believe I will
Ever write it as well as
The Original
Nothing is ever better than the original.
Damn it!
 
The story
Plays in my head
Over and over again
I am being haunted
By my own work
And my own past
I am just being haunted!
 
Faded False Things
 
False things
Surround me
Hope fades
Light down
Draining all in all
Everything is quiet.
 
Twisted words
Prayers never heard
And never acknowledge
All those you seek
Are all gone
Never there when
You need them . . .
All is gone
When?
 
Time changes
Same place
Trying to corrupt
Old and stale feelings
Time flies
Bringing Nostalgia
 
Come
Brain washed followers
Believers
Sing again
Fall to your knees
Full body weight
Crush the bone
To worship a suffering deity
Give all just to
Change back again.
 
Why should I?
 
Brainwashed
Time ticks . . .
Let unseen power
Take over
 
What if I believe
For one second?
But to find out
It’s all fake—
A hoax,
A very sick thing
Just another reason
To call me a joke?
 
Why cave into
Something unseen
For nothing
To happen now?
 
If you were
A really merciful
Superior deity
Than you should have
Taken away all
Pain and suffering
And most for heartache
 
Why should I
Believe in something
That allows
Me to suffer?
 
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