beckyms1213 (beckyms1213) wrote,

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October Poetry 3

Transferable Pain

Once she was happy . . .
When his arms were wrapped around her,
When she felt the world could stop and disappear
Just because he was there.
Once she was happy . . .
When he would say,
"I love you."
Out of the blue.
Once she was happy . . .
When he would make her laugh
And smile
And blush
And feel good.
Once she was happy . . .
When she knew he was happy with her
When she did little things for him,
When she would brush her finger through his hair
Or rub his head or back.

One day the happiness stopped
When pain sunk in
At first it was just physical pain
It was just temporary release:
As it fades away with Tylenol
She faced the pain for him
As she felt
She was feeling it for the both of them

But the mental pain
Of feeling lost and alone
Stayed with her
Like a ghost haunting it's place of death.
In her weaken state,
She sacrificed her beliefs
Causing a chaos
And creating a questioning of why is she really here?
What is her purpose?
In fearing she would lose him,
She stopped all contact
With her friends of the opposite sex.

Mental pain ate through her
She began to hate the weaken melt clay,
She had begun.
She saw him less and less
As she was giving up more and more
Finally she stopped seeing him,
But the by then it was too late.
Pain had over come her
As she has created a sexual monster within him.
Pain created a beast within her.
She began biting herself for a release
And when that didn't work,
She took a simple blade
A slice a release with her flesh
Hoping to release her soul
Then another and another.

She claimed the cuts on her arms
Are from her pets,
But secretly she know
Each cut has passion, fear,
And a release of pain within them.
She just doesn't want to hurt anymore.

Cuts of Worthiness

Slice after slice
The blade hits her flesh
Blood drips
As pain is released
Stinging only comes in cleaning the wounds.
Marks down each arm
Regret and remorse in physical form.
Tear rain on the cheeks
As breast get marked next.
Whining as thighs stings
As flesh opens just so slightly.
She barely can get the blade to the skin
She barely can press in
As she doesn't want mortal wound,
A pain release.
She wants to be worthy of being happy again.

Becky M. S. All writings were written on 10/7/2006
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